Frank Lesser’s latest humour piece for The New York Times is a guide containing some stress-free suggestions for anxious people considering getting inked.
If you’re worried that you’re not cool because you don’t have a tattoo, and also worried about everything else, here are some stress-free suggestions for getting inked (after you’ve researched the ink to make sure it isn’t carcinogenic).
— A heart with “Mom” written inside, beneath the words “In case of emergency, contact.”
— A chubby toddler. It would have been an angel, but heaven is merely a construct to distract us from the inevitability of death.
— Tub of Ben and Jerry’s Chubby Hubby. To calm you down when you start thinking about whether heaven is merely a construct to distract us from the inevitability of death.
— Teardrop tattoo. It will distract everyone from your nervous crying (see above). Plus people might think you killed a guy in prison so they won’t mess with you by making eye contact.
— A mole that’s irregularly shaped. At least you know this one’s benign.
— Tattoo of someone else’s face over your own. Hopefully this other person will be better prepared for life’s disappointments.
Full Article: The New York Times.
Congratualtions to the Writers of “The Colbert Report” who have been awarded The 64th Annual Writers Guild Award for “Comedy / Variety (Including Talk) Series”.
COMEDY / VARIETY – (INCLUDING TALK) SERIES
Conan, Writers: Jose Arroyo, Andres du Bouchet, Deon Cole, Josh Comers, Dan Cronin, Michael Gordon, Berkley Johnson, Brian Kiley, Laurie Kilmartin, Rob Kutner, Todd Levin, Brian McCann, Conan O’Brien, Matt O’Brien, Jesse Popp, Andy Richter, Frank Smiley, Brian Stack, Mike Sweeney; TBS
Jon Benjamin Has a Van, Writers: Leo Allen, Jon Benjamin; Comedy Central
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Head Writer: AD Miles, Writers: David Angelo, Patrick Borelli, Gerard Bradford, Jeremy Bronson, Mike DiCenzo, Jimmy Fallon, John Haskell, Eric Ledgin, Dan Opsal, Amy Ozols, Gavin Purcell, Diallo Riddle, Jon Rineman, Bashir Salahuddin, Justin Shanes, Michael Shoemaker, Jen Statsky, CJ Toledano; NBC
Real Time with Bill Maher, Writers: Scott Carter, Adam Felber, Matt Gunn, Brian Jacobsmeyer, Jay Jaroch, Chris Kelly, Bill Maher, Billy Martin, Amani Redd; HBO
Saturday Night Live, Head Writer: Seth Meyers, Writers: Doug Abeles, James Anderson, Alex Baze, Heather Anne Campbell, Matt Craig, Jessica Conrad, James Downey, Tom Flanigan, Shelly Gossman, Steve Higgins, Colin Jost, Zach Kanin, Chris Kelly, Erik Kenward, Rob Klein, Jonathan Krisel, Lorne Michaels, John Mulaney, Christine Nangle, Michael Patrick O’Brien, Paula Pell, Simon Rich, Marika Sawyer, Akiva Schaffer, Sarah Schneider, Pete Schultz, John Solomon, Kent Sublette, Jorma Taccone, Bryan Tucker; NBC
*WINNER: The Colbert Report, Writers: Michael Brumm, Stephen Colbert, Rich Dahm, Paul Dinello, Eric Drysdale, Rob Dubbin, Glenn Eichler, Dan Guterman, Peter Gwinn, Jay Katsir, Barry Julien, Frank Lesser, Opus Moreschi, Tom Purcell, Meredith Scardino, Scott Sherman, Max Werner; Comedy Central
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Writers: Rory Albanese, Kevin Bleyer, Richard Blomquist, Steve Bodow, Tim Carvell, Wyatt Cenac, Hallie Haglund, J.R. Havlan, Elliott Kalan, Dan McCoy, Sam Means, Jo Miller, John Oliver, Zhubin Parang, Daniel Radosh, Jason Ross, Jon Stewart; Comedy Central
Full List of Winners: Writers Guild of America.