The Colbert Report writer Frank Lesser has written two new Christmas themed humour pieces. The first 'You Better Not Pout' a dark humour piece, and the second 'A Christmas Classic with an Occupy Twist: God Bless Us, Every 1 Percent' a satirical piece featuring a business savvy Ebenezer Scrooge.
You Better Not Pout.
This may be tough for you to hear, Billy—but there is no Santa Claus. I should clarify: There was a Santa Claus, and he brought joy to all the children in the world who believed in him, but last Christmas Eve he was murdered during an attempted sleigh-jacking.
You’re old enough for the whole truth: Santa didn’t die immediately. Even though the second bullet pierced his lung, it missed his belly that shook when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly, and the coroner believes he could have pulled through if the gunshots hadn’t spooked his reindeer, who trampled him to death. Rudolf’s nose wasn’t the only thing disturbingly red that night.
Tragically, when Blitzen tried to shield Santa’s body from the other reindeer’s hooves, he broke a leg and had to be put down.
And this is the toughest part, so I hope you’re sitting down: It was all your fault. You just had to have that Nerf gun.
Full Article: McSweeney’s Internet Tendency.
A Christmas Classic with an Occupy Twist: God Bless Us, Every 1 Percent.
Ebenezer Scrooge was alphabetizing unpaid mortgages on Christmas Eve when the ghost of his late business partner Jacob Marley appeared, moaning and rattling his chains. “Great, another protester,” Scrooge muttered, before shouting, “Cratchit!,” at which point his clerk burst through the door in riot gear and pepper-sprayed Marley in his ashen face.
“Sorry, Jacob,” Scrooge said as the ghost writhed upon the floor, “but I learned a few things after dealing with the urchins camping outside my office. Incidentally, you can’t stay on the floor — I need to keep it clear so it can be cleaned. Cratchit?”
Cratchit splashed a bucket of grayish water on the ghost, and Marley melted away into the floorboards.
“You owe me one, Bob,” Scrooge said to his impoverished clerk. “Even though it seemed like he was coming after me, he was really coming to raise your taxes.”
Marley’s ghost reappeared an hour later with an ice pack over his eyes. He locked the door this time, then turned his infernal aspect upon Scrooge and said in a grave voice, “Ebenezer Scrooge, tonight you will be visited by three ghosts.”
Full Article: The Washington Post.
Venus wants Buddy to quit asking her to “make puppies.” Buddy wants Winston’s help wooing Venus. Winston wants Guy’s respect. Guy wants Dolly’s job. Dolly wants to know the meaning of it all. Nobody knows what Fiddler really wants, not even Fiddler. But mostly … these sled dogs just want to run.
Sounds simple? It should be, but even dogs have their office politics. Office politics with sharp, sharp teeth.
From Colbert Report writer Glenn Eichler and dog channeling artist Joe “Fur” Infurnari comes a postmodern tale of heroism on the tundra, epic romance, and yellow snow. (Hint: don’t eat it.) Mush! is Arrested Development meets Call of the Wild—two great tastes that taste pretty funny together.
David Berry from the National Post has wonderful review of the book:
The story that Glenn Eichler hangs his mushing whip on isn’t much more complicated than your standard office dynamic, but Mush! benefits greatly from Joe Infurnari’s wildly expressive characterizations. There is a pure, unbridled joy perfectly evident in the way these dogs tear through the wilderness, but more impressive is the personality that shines through when these dogs are in repose. There are some classic cartooning tropes at play here — the rotund, well-meaning-but-dim galoot, the dark, angular schemer — with just enough of a rough edge to make them jump off the page whether or not they’re talking. It’s a bit of a shame the story isn’t quite as exuberant, but Infuranari’s good, old-fashioned comic capability is enough to carry this fairly slight volume.
Paul Gravett also has another glowing review of the book:
Putting Media tie-in Lassie aside, and excluding super-powered mutts like Superboy’s pet Krypto or the Inhumans’ teleporting bulldog Lockjaw, American adventure comics about realistic dogs are not that plentiful. Imagine if they’d become the dominant genre instead of superheroes! As it is, DC’s Fifties series Rex the Wonder Dog, with lovely Gil Kane art, is unlikely to get an Archive edition soon, I suspect.
Meantime, fortunately, Mush! plunges us into the great outdoors of Alaska with the jubilant dogs out on a run. Eichler & Infurnari exult in all the ‘SSSFWOOOOOSSH!’ sound effects and ‘ABSTILACK GOMMA DEY!’ driver’s calls of that pack-like human and animal fusion in the ‘bliss’ of dog-sledding. Coloured mostly in muted snow-blues and wood-browns, this 120-page graphic novel open wordlessly before introducing us first to its canine cast. Once you adjust to talking animals, you find their different personalities soon emerge, united mostly by boredom between runs, anticipation of the next one and rivalries for who gets the front harness. We then cut to the human couple, known to the dogs as ‘The Boss’ and ‘The Boss’s Mate’. So this prepare us that is not solely an anthropomorphic tale. The dogs speak in slightly thicker, rougher, almost furry outlined balloons, while humans speak in tidier balloons.
The indeterminate time period also becomes clear, as we realise the tale is not set in the past thanks to the woman’s initial reference to her former Seattle apartment, a very different world they have left behind to get back to nature. But how will the two of them fare living two days’ away from their nearest neighbours? Can their relationship survive? The chapters weave between the contrasting and comparative emotional strains, feuds and rows between two humans and between six animals and their common search of ‘the meaning of life’. We get the unique dogs’ eye view of the world, including appropriate metaphors such ‘as subtle as an avalanche’. Lovely design devices for the chapter titles and the skilled layouts that go full bleed and manga-esque in high-drama scenes show a creative team that knows how comics can really work. This is an utterly beguiling and touching dog story and not in the least bit ‘shaggy’! It will whoosh you away and make you want to shout out loud, ‘YAPABRA! BLEE DRAY CALLA SCOW!’
Release Date: December 6th, 2011.
Heart of Darkness
Hosted By Greg Bariss
Friday, December 9th, 2011 at 8:00PM
Union Hall, Brooklyn, NY
Tickets: $8 - $10.
Cousin Corinne’s ‘Live Comix Block’ Signing
with presentations by:
Glenn Eichler | Joe Infurnari | Nick Abadzis | Dean Haspiel
Curated & MC’d by Dean Haspiel
Thursday, December 8th at 7:00PM
BookCourt – 163 Court Street (b/w Pacific & Dean), Brooklyn, NY.
TCR writer Frank Lesser has written a new book, "Sad Monsters: Growling on the Outside, Crying on the Inside."
An Emmy Award-winning writer for The Colbert Report follows in the (big) footsteps of Bigfoot: I Not Dead.
Monsters have it tough. Besides being deeply misunderstood, they suffer from very real problems: Mummies have body image issues, Godzilla is going through an existential crisis, and creatures from the black lagoon face discrimination from creatures from the white lagoon. At heart, these monsters are human; after all, you are what you eat. Quirkily illustrated, Sad Monsters hilariously documents the trials and tribulations of all the undead creatures monster-mad readers have grown to love, from vampires and werewolves, to chupacabras and sphinxes, and even claw-footed bathtubs.
R.J Carter from The Trades has wonderful review of the book:
Remember that moment in “Frankenstein” where the monster encounters the little girl who isn’t afraid of him? Remember how your heart shivered, then melted, to realize that within the monster’s enormous chest resided something of humanity, struggling to get out with a muffled moan and groan? If only those angry villagers would have just put down their torches for a moment to appreciate the beauty, the story could have had such an upbeat ending.
Frank Lesser, who writes for The Colbert Report comedy/commentary show, has embraced this perspective, and from that ensuing epiphany has crafted together some thought-provoking (and smile-inspiring) essays, letters, diary entries, and personal ads, all designed to give us an understanding of what it’s like to walk a mile in a monster’s size 13 boots in an era where the problems of existence are larger than just “Who can I terrorize today?
Full Review: [Here]
Slate has posted an excerpt from the book entitled "The Joy of Unicorn’s:
Hey, preteen girls, put down the rock ‘n’ roll music records and listen up! If you give up your virginity before you get married, you’ll miss out on something far better than sex: befriending a unicorn.
The little-known fact is, every abstinent teen gets her own unicorn as her BFF. Why do you think good girls don’t mind 9 p.m. curfews? I’ll give you one hint: unicorn slumber parties!!!
You see, in medieval times, a virginal maiden would sit alone in the woods until a unicorn, enchanted by her purity, approached and laid its head in her lap. At which point, the waiting hunters would reveal themselves, and presto—unicorn kebabs. Of course, nowadays most unicorn meat comes from factory farms, which means wild unicorns can spend their free time teaching virtuous girls how to wear makeup without looking cheap.
Full Excerpt: "The Joy of Unicorn’s:
Frank has also posted a video for the book "I Can Haz Ghostbuster?"
(Images courtesy of f***yeahlatenighthosts, f888yeahstevejonandstephen, teamcocolbert)