Colbert News Hub

In celebration of the launch of Stephen Colbert’s ‘America Again: Re-Becoming The Greatness We Never Weren’t’, join the #1 New York Times best selling author and acclaimed talk show host as he explains why America is perfect and how we can fix it.

** Book signing to follow.


Date: Tue, Oct 9, 2012, 8PM
Venue: Kaufmann Concert Hall
Location: Lexington Avenue at 92nd St
Tickets: from $29.00

(Thanks to Magdalena for the Tip!)

Original Article

Comedy Central has once again joined forces with Jon Stewart’s Busboy Productions for its fourth biennial special event, “Night of Too Many Stars: America Comes Together for Autism Programs.” Taping on Saturday, October 13, 2012, at the Beacon Theatre in New York City, the benefit will feature Jon Stewart hosting an evening filled with live performances, sketches and short films from a roster of comedy and celebrity all-stars.

Tickets for the general public will go on sale via Ticketmaster on Friday, September 7 at 10am ET.

This year’s event will premiere on Comedy Central on Sunday, October 21, 2012, at 8/7c.

Original Article

Hello, Hubsters!

One convention down; another to go. So, goodbye Tampa, hello Charlotte! What will happen at the DNC? And can anything equal the breath-stopping, mindboggling spectacle produced by an improvising Clint Eastwood? It was performance art at its most bizarre—the bad and the ugly, without much of the good. I personally would rather have had an expose of the “fistful(s) of dollars” the Republicans are receiving from billionaires. Clint, you are “unforgiven.” That said, it brought a little interest to some otherwise dull proceedings. Whether it was exactly the kind of interest the GOP wanted, well—that’s another story. But it does lead to a question: will Betty White REALLY appear at the DNC doing a parody? Rumors, rumors …  In any case the responses across the internet have been delightful, starting with (but definitely not limited to) Obama’s “This seat’s taken.” Have you been looking at them? Do you have any favorites?

I’m planning to do view at least some of the the Dems’ speeches; I know that I should have done the same with the Republicans, but I just couldn’t bear it, and so I guiltily turned the channel to more entertaining shows. For me, this year’s DNC is a bit bittersweet. Four years ago, I actually attended the convention where Obama became the official nominee. There was so much hope and amazement back then, and it continued throughout the election. Now, I’m just praying the Democrats can pull off a victory, and if they do, I’m expecting more of the same stalemate I’ve witnessed for the past term. So I completely understand why Stephen and Jon aren’t coming together for a full-fledged election-night “Indecision.” There’s probably very little joy in the election at all these days, and I don’t think they’d want to be sitting there announcing a Romney/Ryan victory. Still, I thank the two of them for what they’ve been doing lately, especially Friday’s incredible episodes. Both Stephen and Jon were in top form, with Jon, especially and finally, being uncharacteristically blunt. All hail the best F*$*%g News Team, as well as the writers and producers of both shows. Thank you. And Stephen … you can come and talk to my empty chair (or even sit on it) whenever you wish.

And by the way: Happy Brazilian Independence Day on September 7th. Yes, that means something to me.

Now, let’s take a look at the guests.

Tuesday, 9/4: Reihan Salam

Sigh. Why another conservative? We’ve had them all through the Republican convention (with the exception of Carville), and Reihan Salam certainly has his bona fide right-wing credentials. Having begun his professional career with The New Republic, followed by a two-year stint as David Brooks’s editor and researcher at the New York Times, he’s now a blogger for The Agenda, part of National Review online. His path to his current position is quite interesting, having gone not only through the Times, but also The Chris Matthews Show, where he worked as a producer, and The Atlantic magazine, none of which are especially conservative in nature. In addition to his role at the National Review, Salam serves as an adviser to e21, which deals with “economic policies of the 21st century.” A glimpse at the website convinces me that, at the moment, their most fervent agenda is the repeal of Obama’s healthcare program.

With the equally right-wing Ross Douthat, Salam co-authored the book Grand New Party: How the Republicans Can Win the Working Class and Save the American Dream. On the publisher’s page for the book, the description states that: “Grand New Party shakes up the Right, challenges the Left, and confronts the changing political landscape.” Apparently, they are suggesting that the party go “beyond Reagan.” I actually think that the GOP has already done that; I’m not sure Reagan, at least as he was back then, would be conservative enough for the current incarnation of the GOP.

The Brooklyn-born pundit attended the prestigious Stuyvesant High School (how could you attend a science high school and back the GOP, oh Mr. Salam?) and Cornell University. Apparently, he veers from the party platform in his support of gay marriage. Like many people, including former boss Brooks, he backed the Iraq war initially and then backed down. Well, thank you, guys. Voice your support, get us into this mess with your loud and shrill voices, and then whine your mea culpas after the mess many of us predicted would happen, actually did happen.

Visit his website, which has links to his blog, video clips, and more.

He also writes from CNN.com, and here’s a column that addresses why he thinks Mitt Romney is losing.

One of Salam’s other blogs (he’s a busy fellow) is NewAmerica.net.

Not enough Salam for you? Reuters has hired him to write a column, too.

And he has a Tumblr.

Like him on Facebook.

He addresses the the question of racism among Republicans vs. Democrats.

Follow him on Twitter.

Wednesday, 9/5: Michael Grunwald

One of the most important pieces of legislation Obama got passed—although not in the amount he originally proposed—was the stimulus bill. It saved various industries, including automobile manufacturers, from totally collapsing and probably kept us from a total economic meltdown. Yes, as Paul Krugman keeps point out, it needed to be much greater to do what it had to do, but at least it did something. In Michael Grunwald’s opinion, it helped prevent a depression. Grunwald’s new book, The New New Deal: The Hidden Story of Change in the Obama Era, takes an extremely close and detailed look at the stimulus. He carried out more than 400 interviews with both Democrats and Republicans and explains exactly what the allocated money achieved. The book has received rave reviews from Politico, the Chicago Tribune, the Economist, Publishers Weekly, and numerous other newspapers and journals.

Grunwald is a senior national correspondent for TIME magazine and he’s won some of journalism’s most coveted awards, including the George Polk Award for national reporting, the Worth Bingham Prize for investigative reporting, and the Society of Environmental Journalists award for in-depth reporting. The Harvard graduate began his career at the Boston Globe and thereafter worked for the Washington Post from 1998-2007. (He covered the events of September 11, 2001.) Now a resident of Florida, his earlier, also well-reviewed book focused on that state: The Swamp: The Everglades, Florida, and the Politics of Paradise.

Visit his site. (There are also links to buy the book from there.)

Here’s his blog at TIME, Swampland. Read his advice to Team Obama. (Are we better off than four years ago? Yes, we are! Yes, we are!)

Here’s his official author’s page at Simon & Schuster, where you can read some excerpts of his work.

Find out six revelations from The New New Deal on The Daily Beast.

Read a review of The New New Deal in Slate.

Follow him on Twitter.

Watch him discuss the economy on this video with Jared Bernstein.

OOOH: He blogged about “The Clint Eastwood train wreck.” “[H]onestly, all I can think about is Dirty Harry scolding an invisible president in a chair for making an anatomically impossible suggestion.”

Like him on Facebook.

Thursday, 9/6: Bill Richardson

I’ve always really liked former New Mexico governor Bill Richardson, and had high hopes he might become the Democrats’ presidential candidate at some point (he tried and failed in 2008) or have a strong role in the Obama administration. However, that was not to be. Whether it’s true that there are some John Edwards-like skeletons in his closet (having to do with the use of campaign funds to pay off a woman), as is sometimes rumored, or something else, he has generally taken a lower profile than I’d like in terms of his actual qualifications. It would be wonderful if he does some serious campaigning for Obama, because Richardson connects with Latino voters and that is an important and growing group in our country—and one that’s somewhat alienated by the virulently anti-immigration views of the Republican Party. (He was worried about Romney choosing Rubio for that reason.) I think that, should Obama win again, he’d be an excellent replacement for the departing Hilary Clinton as Secretary of State. As the former ambassador to the UN, and as a special envoy who has helped win the release of American hostages in various locales, he’s well-positioned for that job. But again, I think there have been too many troubles—prosecutions that haven’t panned out and yet have stained him—for that to occur.

Since leaving the public sphere in 2010, Richardson has become a Special Envoy for the Organization of American States (OAS) and serves on the boards of boards of World Resources Institute and the National Council for Science and the Environment, among others. He frequently appears on the Spanish-language network Al Punto as a pundit.

Visit his website.

Follow him on Twitter.

He says that the international community wants Obama back in the Oval Office.

Richardson recently supported some of Bill Clinton’s more positive statements about Romney’s business acumen (and scolding of Obama for his strong criticism)—but mentioned that there’s still anger over his support for Obama, rather than Hilary, in 2008.

Back when he was governor, he had a chance to pardon … Billy the Kid (posthumously, of course). He chose not to.

He’s weighed in on the troubles in Syria.

Friday, 9/7: Ed Rendell

Former Pennsylvania governor and fracking fan Ed Rendell is back on the Report. Pennsylvania is, of course, a hugely important state in the upcoming election and one that Republicans “promised” to deliver to Romney by demanding voter ID. (Although those laws are being struck down.)

Although he has called the US a country of “wusses” for canceling football games in the snow (see below link to his last appearance with Stephen), he does think that what was really cowardly was not banning assault weapons. Here, I agree with him fully. That said, he is a huge critic of Obama, which I’m sure he’ll discuss during this convention-time visit. He definitely does not believe in Obamacare. Why is he a Dem at all? But back to the wussie thing: that’s the title of his new book, A Nation of Wusses: How America’s Leaders Lost the Guts to Make Us Great, which came out in June. I’m sure he’ll want to discuss that with Stephen even more than the convention. It’s winning praise from conservatives like Sean Hannity as well as from Bill Clinton and Chris Matthews. Rendell and Clinton share that don’t-criticize-Romney-for-Bain opinion, by the way.

Post-governorship, Rendell has taken a job as a commentator on MSNBC’s more conservative show, Morning Joe.

Watch his first visit to TCR.

Read all about the girls he loves. They’re bitc… dogs. Literally. Actually, this is a colorfully written full profile and interview with Rendell that appeared recently in PhillyMag.

Like him on Facebook.

Rendell opines on the upcoming election and how Pennsylvania might vote.

Watch him on PBS’s Need to Know.

The New Republic reviews the book.

He apparently wanted Romney to pick Michele Bachmann as his running mate. I don’t think that’s because he thought she was good.

The ardent supporter of Hilary Clinton believes she’ll run in 2016. I think 2016 is a long way away and we never know what will happen or who will emerge.

And now, let’s check in with our good friend Jon Stewart!

He—and the Best F*$%*ing News Team—will be down in Charlotte this week with the DNC.

Tuesday, 9/4: Tom Brokaw

We all know Mr. Brokaw, former NBC news anchor, current special correspondent for NBC, chronicler of “the greatest generation,” and frequent guest on TDS. I’m sure he’ll have some fascinating perspective on both conventions.

Watch his most recent Daily Show appearance. On Jon’s site you can find links to all the other clips—five in all.

Brokaw has visited Stephen, too. Here’s a clip on his September 2011 appearance and one from April 2009.

His book, The Time of Our Lives: A Conversation About America, is being re-released this month with a new preface by Brokaw.

Newsman to newsman: Ron Burgundy interviews Brokaw (on “Funny or Die”).

Wednesday, 9/5: Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand

She’s my senator! New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand was appointed to the job when Hilary Clinton left to become Secretary of State. Many of us were initially suspicious of this upstate Representative, but she has since won re-election and pleased most of us very much.

This is Gillibrand’s second visit to TDS.

Visit her website.

Follow her on Twitter.

Like her on Facebook.

Thursday, 9/6: Austan Goolsbee

Here’s another repeat guest, the man who was chief economist for the President’s Economic Recovery Advisory Board until 2011 and who now teaches at the University of Chicago.

Goolsbee has been on so much that Jon’s website had a “sneak preview”—a “cheat sheet” on him.

Here’s his page at the University of Chicago website. You can see what he’s teaching!

In June, he said that Obama should issue a “mea culpa,” because we’re not in the place he wanted us to be right now. Sigh. Why do the Dems demand that of their politicians, dragging them down just when they’re vulnerable, when the Republicans never do?

Follow him on Twitter.

Read his blog.

He’s appeared on TCR lots, too. Here’s a clip of his most recent appearance.

Friday, 9/7: No guest announced

I assume Jon will use this episode to wrap up, as he did last Friday. If that changes, I’ll let you know.

Have a great week, everyone! And be sure to let me know which guest you’re most looking forward to. Alternatively, you can imagine the most awesome thing that might happen at the DNC and tell me that, as well.

Cheers.

Original Article

EPISODE NUMBER: Episode IV — A New-ish Hope
GUESTS: James Carville
SEGMENTS: Mitt Romney’s “Solid” GOP Convention Speech | The GOP’s Mystery Convention Speaker
The GOP’s Mystery Convention Speaker - Clint Eastwood’s Chair | Neil Armstrong Tribute
SUIT REPORT: Black Suit | White Shirt | Light blue and navy striped tie
VIDEOS: Friday, August 31, 2012

I know it’s Labor Day weekend, and you’re looking to relax with family and friends and maybe not think about politics (I know I am!), but do not miss this episode. I truly loved Stephen bringing Chair in to explain its inner philosophies and bring about inspiring chants of “Yes We Can!” from the audience. Now we know why Clint’s bit didn’t work: Chair couldn’t commit to the cynicism of the RNC, it’s just too optimistic.

Also enjoyed the Neil Armstrong tribute. I know we were waiting for Stephen to address Mr. Armstrong’s passing. It is just as remarkable that Armstrong didn’t try to capitalize on his celebrity and remained so humble, as it is that he achieved one of the most intrepid events of all mankind.

What did you think of the ep? And have a great Labor Day.

Episode IV- A New-ish Hope

New hilarious character descriptions in the intro:

“Grand Moff Obama” vs “brave droid R2-Mitt-2,” as well as “freedom fighters Qui-Gon Ryan, Han Rubio, Clint Calrissian and Chairbacca.” The Jedi Knights are “the top 1% force creators.”

Does seeing these two gents bedecked in Star Wars regalia ever get tiresome? Methinks not.

Mitt Romney’s “Solid” GOP Convention Speech

• Last night was the final evening of the Republican National Convention, and or course, they saved the last….for last.

• He entered through the crowd, engaging in the traditional human greeting of palm-grasp.

• There was never any doubt that this man was going to stick the landing, because he never left the ground.

• And folks, if you were looking for a speech…he gave one. And not just words, folks. Subject verb agreement, different tenses, Jimmy blow your Mitt-load.

[caption id=”attachment_16368” align=”aligncenter” width=”525”] “And unlike Obama, Mitt Romney doesn’t rely on teleprompters. He relies on Hallmark cue cards. Takes a long time picking them out. Goes through all of them.”[/caption]

• Yeah, f**k the planet!

• The reaction in the pundits-phere was unanimous: something had occurred.

• Yes, we can all agree that Mitt Romney is a solid. Matter cannot pass through him, and he does not conform to the shape of his container.

• It’s true, during the primaries we heard so much about Mitt’s electability, but not about his plausibility.

The GOP’s Mystery Convention Speaker

• ….the rest of New York Post is dedicated to a more dynamic speaker, an empty chair.

[caption id=”attachment_16371” align=”aligncenter” width=”525”] “Like most Fox Anchors, I believe something like this” (rubs hands maniacally) “means something good is coming.”[/caption]

• (in an overly sinister tone) Happy Anniversary, Darling. I got you a surprise. Here, eat this pastry I made you, it’s got a… mystery filling… so good.

• Who could the mystery speaker be? Was it Sarah Palin? Was it Hologram Reagan? Was it me? Sadly no, evidently I learned how to belch the second amendment for nothing.

• After seeing the mystery speaker, I can say with some confidence- the mystery remains.

[caption id=”attachment_16369” align=”aligncenter” width=”525”] “Folks, there has not been a political speech this powerful since the famous Lincoln-Bookshelf debates.”[/caption]

The GOP’s Mystery Convention Speaker - Clint Eastwood’s Chair

A simple chair brings about a fantastic and illuminating monologue:

• Chair, thank you for joining us. Oh no, no the honor is all mine. Now, whatever your political beliefs everybody loves Clint. What was it like working with Eastwood? What’s he like?

• Well, yes at times he seemed a little…you know, we were worried. But…that’s a terrible thing to say! How do you know? Maybe he had a prescription for those. You don’t know what you’re talking about. What? What’s that? You want me to do what? There’s no way I can fit my fist in there.

You’re just dodging the fact that unemployment is still above 8% and Obama has kept none of his campaign promises for the-what? Okay, he signed the Lily Ledbetter Act guaranteeing equal pay for women, but that was on day one of his administration. I mean just name something big that- okay, okay he saved the auto industry, but what about the government take-over of health care? Why should my money go to-yes, I am well aware that we are the only Western nation without universal healthcare-yes of course, I am my brother’s keeper, I am a Christian-yes, I do ask what I can do for my country-yes, of course I want to live in hope, everyone wants to join a cause greater than themselves, but-I am sorry, I interrupted, go on- you were saying? Uh huh. Right. Well I feel that way all the time. I want to keep trying, but can we? Yes, yes? Yes we can? Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can! Clint Eastwood’s chair everybody! Clint Eastwood’s chair.

[caption id=”attachment_16376” align=”aligncenter” width=”525”] Brace yourself, chair’s about to bring it.[/caption]

[caption id=”attachment_16375” align=”aligncenter” width=”525”] “Yes We Can! Yes We Can!”[/caption]

[caption id=”attachment_16377” align=”aligncenter” width=”525”] Let’s reconfigure the Republican ticket, shall we?[/caption]

Neil Armstrong Tribute

• Nation, America lost an icon last week, the first man to walk on the moon, Neil Armstrong. And tributes have been pouring in like money out of NASA’s budget.

[caption id=”attachment_16372” align=”aligncenter” width=”525”] “Yes, you can always count on Geraldo Rivera to find just the right words from the Star Trek opening credits.”[/caption]

• Well Nation, I would like to add my voice to these tributes and say Neil Armstrong…meh, I don’t know. No, no hear me out, I know I am not going to win any space medals for this, but I may remind of what he said when he first set foot on the moon. (Plays “one small step for man..” footage) Mankind? What’s wrong with America-kind, Neil? I’m sorry did you plant the flag of Mankind? Did mankind spend millions of dollars and thousands of man hours developing you a refreshing orange space drink?

• You brought a plaque that reads “We came in peace for all man kind.” C’mon! The space race was a proxy war for the Soviets. That plaque should have read, “Suck it, Ivan! Sincerely, JFK’s ghost.”

• What offends me the most about Armstrong, is that he doesn’t have the decency to wallow in his fame.

[caption id=”attachment_16373” align=”aligncenter” width=”525”] “This is how little this guy understands America. Celebrity has nothing to do with deserving ANYTHING.”[/caption]

• 600 million people watched him land on the moon, that is the ultimate reality show. He got voted off the planet. What a tragedy that the greatest adventurer in history never had the balls to cash in.

• I mean he could have appeared with Scooby and the gang in Terror at Tranquility Base, or endorsed Neils Armstrong’s Moonpies: “That’s one small snack for man, one giant treat for mankind.”

Interview - James Carville

• James Carville: This country is really about the middle class.

• SC: Isn’t the middle legendary, like the big foot? The middle class is in so much trouble, is there much of a middle class left to appeal to?

• SC: Mitt Romney did a good job last night by communicating….something.

• JC: He communicated this: If you agreed with Bush’s economic policy, Cheney’s foreign speech, and Santorum’s social policy, you loved Romney’s speech.

• SC: I did, I did. I loved the speech.

• JC: Stephen, it was designed to appeal to you. It was right in your wheelhouse.

• SC: I am flattered.

• JC: As you should.

• SC: Thank you very much.

• JC: Yes sir.

• SC: What do you predict for the post-convention bounce- 40 points?

• JC: Maybe 2 or 3.

• SC: The Romney people are privately predicting 11.

• JC: Um, the Romney people put Clint Eastwood out there.

• SC: You’ve got real financial problems putting on this [DNC] convention, I understand you are holding it in a Waffle House. Obama is way down on the money opposite Mitt Romney, how big of a difference is that going to make over the next 2 months?

• JC: Some.

• SC: Can Obama win this one?

• JC: He can win it, but there is a huge money advantage. To be perfectly blunt about it, the polluters and the financiers are really getting behind the Republicans.

• SC: You mean the job creators. Did you come here tonight on a bicycle, James?

• JC: Come to think of it, I cam in a Colbert Report-supplied Lincoln Navigator.

• SC: All The Colbert Report cars burn panda meat.

• SC: Obama whispered to Medevev that if he gets reelected he’ll have a little more flexibility, that means he’s going to sell Alaska back to the Russians, right?

Original Article

EPISODE NUMBER: 17146 (August 31, 2012)
GUESTS: No Guest
EXCLUSIVE: Welcome to Tampa
SEGMENTS: RNC 2012 - The Road to Jeb Bush 2016 - A Fistful of Awesome | Republican Time Travel | The Best F#@king News Team Ever Audits America | The Best F#@king News Team & Republican Outreach
SUIT REPORT: Dark suit | White shirt | Khaki tie
VIDEOS: Friday, August 31, 2012

Jon got super-jazzed about Clint Eastwood’s meltdown speech at the RNC. Clint is truly so awesome it hard to see him taking all this flack, but he brought it on himself, as soon as he started speaking to inanimate objects. I still love The Bridges of Madison County, however.

I think the most striking moment was when Jon yelled out at Romney “B**l f**king s**t!” He doesn’t normally take the gloves off like that, but the example he showed of Romney criticizing Obama a mere “Hannukah’s”-length of time after the beginning of his term illustrates a great deal of the hypocrisy and hubris at play in this convention. I don’t think it’s about bashing Repubs or Dems- misrepresentation by either party should be confronted by the media, and Jon’s arguments last night illustrated his point.

Also, I just heart Jessica Williams so much. The Republicans who kicked Jessica and Sam Bee out were just being obnoxious. There was nobody at that hair and make up thing anyways!

What did you think of the episode? Sound off in the comments.

RNC 2012 - The Road to Jeb Bush 2016 - A Fistful of Awesome

• Do you know how hard it is to get money in Tampa that doesn’t have body glitter on it?

[caption id=”attachment_16388” align=”alignnone” width=”525”] “Yes! Amidst the tired rhetoric, the empty platitudes, and overwrought attacks, a Fistful of Awesome emerged in the night, where it spent 12 minutes on the most important night of Mitt Romney’s life yelling at a chair. “[/caption]

[caption id=”attachment_16386” align=”alignnone” width=”525”] “This is the most joy I have gotten from an old man since Dick Cheney non-fatally shot one in the face.”[/caption]

• I am here to lend my support to Mitt Romney in his crucial hour, you will not silence me, Invisible Barack Obama.

Republican Time Travel

• Yes, yes, yes, we Americans unique among Earth’s people, move forward in time.

• [Eastwood’s speech] hurt these Republicans bad, because this convention, like all conventions, is a scripted and focus-grouped fantasy, and the display of Eastwood’s Gran Turino Id was the thing the Republicans had constructed an entire week to suppress.

• This convention was the vision of a perfect America, that used to exist, until Barack Obama ruined it-and so what if that America had actually never existed.

[caption id=”attachment_16387” align=”alignnone” width=”525”] “Yeah, that was the uncomplicated America you remember. I think in the early ’60s there were some churches in Alabama that would have disagreed with your sports team vs. place of worship anecdote.”
[/caption]

• Wow, in four years, one man, Barack Obama has broken the greatest nation that God has ever given this Earth.

[caption id=”attachment_16384” align=”alignnone” width=”525”] “The message of this convention is that apparently until November of 2008, American lived in an Utopian ideal born of our own gumption and individual hard work. But sadly, not 4 years later, it’s a blighted socialist hellscape where jack-booted thugs lock you up for thinking about Christmas.”
[/caption]

• And here is the most incredible part of the entire fiction. While convincing us that Barack Obama’s destroyed this country’s future, the Republicans have also invented a past where they were trying to help him succeed.

[caption id=”attachment_16385” align=”alignnone” width=”525”] “B**l f**king s**t!”[/caption]

• Well, [Hannity] did give the President 100 days, before cueing the music from The Omen.

• (Mocking O’Reilly) “I mean, c’mon, the guy’s had 42 days to fix the biggest financial catastrophe in our lifetimes, I mean he’s had his chance.”

[caption id=”attachment_16394” align=”alignnone” width=”525”] “I mean it’s been 8 days, we’ve been waiting an entire Hannukah for Obama to succeed. I can’t believe he hasn’t fixed in 8 days what our guy did in 8 years.”[/caption]

The Best F#@king News Team Ever Audits America

[caption id=”attachment_16392” align=”alignnone” width=”525”] “Mississippi! Dead last in per capita income. You are costing the federal government 20 billion dollars. You know what? I think we are going to have to let the market decide.”
[/caption]

[caption id=”attachment_16393” align=”alignnone” width=”525”] “Oh…Maine is terrible.”[/caption]

[caption id=”attachment_16395” align=”alignnone” width=”525”] Jason and John fire some states…but have a heart for Mississippi.[/caption]

The Best F#@king News Team & Republican Outreach

[caption id=”attachment_16389” align=”alignnone” width=”525”] “Are you Republican?” “It’s just a gig, man.”[/caption]

[caption id=”attachment_16391” align=”alignnone” width=”525”] Jessica and an African-American delegate search for other black delegates. It’s pretty tough.[/caption]

Jessica Williams: P-Con, how’s it hangin’

“P-Con”: Completely.

JW: Alright, so you are the face of Generation Opportunity.

P-Con: I am the President of it.

JW: So how old are you exactly?

PC: I am 48 years old.

JW: 48?

PC: But I had a band when I was in high school.

JW: What year was that, 1975?

PC: No, I got you beat, it was 1984.

JW: Hoooly s**t, I was not alive.

[caption id=”attachment_16390” align=”alignnone” width=”525”] Jessica and Sam get dissed by the Republicans but go a few doors down to a place inclusive to women: Hooters.[/caption]

Original Article

No one ever said being a Daily Show Correspondent was easy. Just ask Jason Jones whose week has gone from Hurricane Isaac to sexy strippers and a little old lady with a stick.

Original Article

Welcome to Fan Art, where we highlight the glorious manifestations of Stephen, as rendered by fans and talented artists.

Chaplain of the Colbert Nation Fr. Jim Martin posted this beautiful caricature on his Facebook page, created by Fordham visual arts student Tim Luecke. Depicted are the participants in the upcoming event being held at Fordham University September 14th: Stephen, Cardinal Tim Dolan, and Fr. Jim.

I am sure the kids at Fordham are all fired up for Stephen to appear at this event, and the colors and the overall playfulness of this piece convey that excitement.

What do you think? And happy Friday y’all!

Original Article

EPISODE NUMBER: Episode III - The Phantom Money
GUESTS: Jon Huntsman
SEGMENTS: The GOP Convention & Mitt Romney’s Minority Appeal | Paul Ryan’s Misleading GOP Convention Speech | Sign Off - Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Dark suit | White shirt | Blue stripped tie
VIDEOS: Thursday August 30th, 2012

May the truthiness be with you. Comment, you will.

Original Article

EPISODE NUMBER: 17145 (August 30, 2012)
GUESTS: Michael Steele 
EXCLUSIVES: Extended Interview Part 1 | Part 2
SEGMENTS: RNC 2012 - The Road to Jeb Bush 2016 - Paul Ryan’s Speech | Paul Ryan’s Convenient Truths | We Can Change That | Mitt Romney: A Human Being Who Built That | Moment of Zen - Tim Pawlenty Gives Barack Obama Credit
SUIT REPORT: Dark suit | Pale blue shirt | Blue stripped tie
VIDEOS:  Thursday August 30th, 2012

Caps and Quotes coming soon Hubsters.  A Daily Show guide = double your pleasure, double your fun… so using “Stephen” logic you must double your comments.

Original Article

EPISODE NUMBER: Episode II - Return of the America Strikes Back, Again
GUEST: Jennifer Burns
SEGMENTS: The Mitt Romney Story | Ann Romney’s GOP Convention Speech | Mitt Romney’s Role Model | Ayn Rand & Paul Ryan | Sign Off - Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Gray suit | Light blue shirt | Navy tie with black and white stripes
VIDEOS: Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Stephen delivers his slightly tipsy coverage of the secondish day of the 2012 Republican National Convention, discussing Reince Priebus, Mrs. Mitt Romney, and way too much Ayn Rand for my liking. Here are some of the highlights!

[caption id=”attachment_16318” align=”aligncenter” width=”550”] “Folks, I am jacked. And not just because I’ve been playing this drinking game where I take a shot of Jack every time I see an old, white man.”[/caption]

[caption id=”attachment_16319” align=”aligncenter” width=”550”] “Last night’s theme was ‘We Built It’. ‘It’ being, I assume, Mitt Romney. I always wondered who assembled him because that is quality work.”[/caption]

[caption id=”attachment_16320” align=”aligncenter” width=”550”] “True respect means telling people some harsh truths. For instance — you’re fat. We’re worried about you. Please — eat a vegetable, a salad. We want you to live a long time. That’s respect, that’s from a place of respect.”[/caption]

[caption id=”attachment_16321” align=”aligncenter” width=”550”] “Requiring Ayn Rand for interns fits perfectly with her message that you should work for free and think exactly the way your boss tells you to.”[/caption]

[caption id=”attachment_16322” align=”aligncenter” width=”550”] “Objectivism and rational self-interest. If I may summarize, it’s ‘I got mine, jack’. Did I miss anything?”[/caption]

I love that bow right on the front of Stephen’s desk, it’s so festive. :D

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